Friday, April 27, 2007

Um, Er... OK?

So, um, yeah, if you feel you qualify, go ahead and, apply.

Fit testers wanted: (emeryville)
Reply to:
Date: 2007-04-26, 12:02PM PDT

The research group at is looking for women to join our bra fit clinic. The bra sizes that we are looking for are: band size 34, 36, or 38 with cup size B, C, or D.

If you meet our size criteria, we’ll pay you $75 for trying on bras and giving us honest feedback about style and fit. You’ll also walk away knowing what bra size and style is perfect for you! [omigosh!]

Fittings will be held in our Emeryville offices from May 1st through the 4th. Each appointment will last about 1 ½ hours. [jebus, that's a helluva long time to try on bras]

If you are interested in joining our fit test, email us at with your bra size information and your phone number. We will call you to schedule a fit appointment.

Unfortunately, if you were part of our February fitting we will not be able to use you again for this one.
[that IS unfortunate]

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Paid in Comet AND Lunch!

Hard not to apply for this one - I love lunch. Especially while cleaning the bathroom.

Reply to:
Date: 2007-04-19, 12:06PM PDT

I am moving soon, and have a little apartment with a lot of things to sort and pack. Having someone to help me will cut the time in half, and I really need some help since my job has me traveling and I am hardly ever home to do this myself.

Job will include:

Sorting and packing, also most likely cleaning of kitchen and bathroom. I will provide cleaning supplies and lunch. (If you have anything you'd like to contribute that you think will help us along, please bring them if you wish. If you are a professional cleaner, you will know more than me about what's best. I will reimburse you for supplies if we end up using them.)

[I know what to bring along - a wheelbarrow and a box of matches]

I will need you for at least a few hours, but most likely more if you are available. Please be hard working, and English speaking. House cleaning experience is a plus. Again, I am hardly ever home, so deep cleaning will be involved. (In other words, I'd love to get to cleaning cracks and crevices, too. Don't worry, no "science projects.") [is this some sort of lame euphemism?] I need my place to look organized and spotless!

I will need you early morning on Monday April 23, (8am) and might need your help again the following Sunday, April 29. It is a plus if you have a truck to help me transport stuff I don't need to the local Goodwill. :)

[just hire a friggin company - one that provides packing, cleaning and hauling services - don't keep slipping in these extra requirements throughout the posting - just list all the stuff you need up front, like someone with a spine might do.]

Please let me know a little about you in regards to experience and general interests. I know we don't have to be best buddies, but the day would go by faster if we vibed at least a little. :) Also, this is a serious posting and I do not have time to waste. Please be serious about this is you are planning to respond.

[really? is it really? you don't have time to waste, yet you wrote this disorganized, rambling post? really? you want someone who's willing to clean your cracks and crevices for no more than a sandwich AND you want to "vibe" with them? are YOU serious?]