Hardcore oops. So... much... all... caps... crushing... me... can't... write...
RE--GREETER WANTED FOR OPEN HOUSE (ETC JOBS) [Vancouver]
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-11-08, 2:36PM PST
WHAT PART OF GENDER DISCRIMINATION DO YOU, THE POSTER/EMPLOYER, DO NOT UNDERSTAND??????
WE'LL SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT IGNORANT: (1) UNDER THE CANADIAN CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS IS A CLAUSE PROHIBITING GENDER DISCRIMINATORY EMPLOYMENT ADS (eg.YOU CAN'T REFUSE EMPLOYMENT BASED SOLEY ON GENDER, NOR SEEK ONLY ONE GENDER FOR A JOB -ALTHOUGH THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS, GREETING PEOPLE AT AN OPEN HOUSE IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE OF THEM, MORON!) (2)UNDER CRAIGSLIST 'S STIPULATIONS FOR JOB POSTINGS IS ALSO A CLAUSE PROHIBITING DISCRIMINATION OF ANY KIND.
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ??? WHY IS THIS JOB OPEN ONLY TO FEMALES??? IS IT BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM TO STAND THERE IN A BIKINI AND SLUT HIGH HEELS?? WHAT "SERVICE" WOULD THEY PROVIDE THAT A MALE COULDN'T???? HMMMMM???
JUST WHAT THE HELL RU PROMOTING? RU SURE THAT THE HOUSES R THE ONLY THINGS THAT R "OPEN"? YOUR DISCRIMINATORY AD IS PRECISELY THE TYPE THAT THE HUMAN RIGHTS TRIBUNAL WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH!
* Location: ETC JOBS
* Compensation: Looking 4 a ho'
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Oops
RE- ADVERTISING DRIVERS WANTED (etc/jobs)
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-10-23, 6:41AM PDT
RE-advertising drivers needed--THIS IS NOT A REAL JOB, BUT A BAIT-AND-SWITCH GIMMICK TO DIRECT YOU TO ANOTHER WEBSITE , FULL OF CRAP FOR SALE, AND AFTER WASTING 10 MINUTES THERE, U THEN REALIZE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY A SALES GIMMICK, AND THE CUNNING A-HOLE WHO POSTED THIS ON CL ACTUALLY GETS A COMMISSION FOR EVERY PERSON DUMB ENOUGH TO SIGN UP (READ CAREFULLY AND U'LL SEE). THIS JACKASS' POSTING HAS BEEN SURFACING IN DIFFERENT CAREGORIES FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF NOW.
* Location: etc/jobs
* Compensation: ONLY FOR THE POSTER/SCAMMER
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-10-23, 6:41AM PDT
RE-advertising drivers needed--THIS IS NOT A REAL JOB, BUT A BAIT-AND-SWITCH GIMMICK TO DIRECT YOU TO ANOTHER WEBSITE , FULL OF CRAP FOR SALE, AND AFTER WASTING 10 MINUTES THERE, U THEN REALIZE THAT IT'S ACTUALLY A SALES GIMMICK, AND THE CUNNING A-HOLE WHO POSTED THIS ON CL ACTUALLY GETS A COMMISSION FOR EVERY PERSON DUMB ENOUGH TO SIGN UP (READ CAREFULLY AND U'LL SEE). THIS JACKASS' POSTING HAS BEEN SURFACING IN DIFFERENT CAREGORIES FOR ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF NOW.
* Location: etc/jobs
* Compensation: ONLY FOR THE POSTER/SCAMMER
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Something Seriously Wrong in WY
Just for fun I thought I'd look at CL's Wyoming, ETC section - the ads are concerning for all sorts of reasons, this being one of them.
Et Cetera...1 Million Dollars Positions Available NOW... (Wyoming)
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-10-08, 10:20AM MDT
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Wyoming
1 MILLION PER MONTH
SCAMYOURASSOFF.COM
* Location: Wyoming
* Compensation: 7 Figures Monthly
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Et Cetera...1 Million Dollars Positions Available NOW... (Wyoming)
Reply to: see below
Date: 2008-10-08, 10:20AM MDT
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Wyoming
1 MILLION PER MONTH
SCAMYOURASSOFF.COM
* Location: Wyoming
* Compensation: 7 Figures Monthly
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
L.A. to Maima - Opertunity of a Lyfetime
ROCK AND ROLL!!! TRAVEL TO FLORIDA!! (NOW IN DENVER!!) [wait, where are we? wtf?]
[posted on Wyoming CL, Dick Cheney's home state]
Reply to: caintspel@illitergitimate.com
Date: 2008-10-13, 1:19AM MDT
WE ARE ALL ABOUT HAVE FUN , MAKING MONEY AND SEEING USA!!!! LA TO MAIMA!!
* SEE SOME THE MOST EXCITING CITIES IN AMERICA [like Maima!]
* DAILY CASH PAY AS WELL AS WEEKLY BONUSES
* EARNING POTENTIAL $1000 WEEKLY
* MANAGEMENT OPERTUNITIES
* TRAVEL COST PAID
* RETURN TRIP PAID
* PAID LEAVE
* OFF HOLIDAYS
* GROUP ACTIVE EVENTS.
MUST BE 18-25 GIRLS AND GUYS HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE AND HAVE A NICE APPEARANCE! MUST BE WILL TO TRAVEL FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS AT A TIME!! GREAT PAY , COOL PEOPLE TO HAVE FUN WITH.
EMAIL OR CALL (xxx)xxx-xxxx FOR MORE INFO!!! ARE MYSPACE IS www.space.com/dontevenbother. Have a awesome day!!
* Location: NOW IN DENVER!! [but didn't you post this in CL's Wyoming section?]
* Compensation: CASH DAILY!! TRAVEL PAID!! WEEKLY BONUSES!! PAID LEAVE!!!
* This is a contract job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Phone calls about this job are ok.
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
[posted on Wyoming CL, Dick Cheney's home state]
Reply to: caintspel@illitergitimate.com
Date: 2008-10-13, 1:19AM MDT
WE ARE ALL ABOUT HAVE FUN , MAKING MONEY AND SEEING USA!!!! LA TO MAIMA!!
* SEE SOME THE MOST EXCITING CITIES IN AMERICA [like Maima!]
* DAILY CASH PAY AS WELL AS WEEKLY BONUSES
* EARNING POTENTIAL $1000 WEEKLY
* MANAGEMENT OPERTUNITIES
* TRAVEL COST PAID
* RETURN TRIP PAID
* PAID LEAVE
* OFF HOLIDAYS
* GROUP ACTIVE EVENTS.
MUST BE 18-25 GIRLS AND GUYS HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE AND HAVE A NICE APPEARANCE! MUST BE WILL TO TRAVEL FOR AT LEAST 3 MONTHS AT A TIME!! GREAT PAY , COOL PEOPLE TO HAVE FUN WITH.
EMAIL OR CALL (xxx)xxx-xxxx FOR MORE INFO!!! ARE MYSPACE IS www.space.com/dontevenbother. Have a awesome day!!
* Location: NOW IN DENVER!! [but didn't you post this in CL's Wyoming section?]
* Compensation: CASH DAILY!! TRAVEL PAID!! WEEKLY BONUSES!! PAID LEAVE!!!
* This is a contract job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Phone calls about this job are ok.
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Fugging Laura (AGAIN)
Hands up - who's shocked that this maniac can't keep a steady employee?
I have a theory about why Laura is plagued by migraines - it likely has nothing to do with odors, chemicals, petroleum-based products or the alignment of the forks in her utensil drawer. And I'm qualified to posit such a theory, having suffered from migraines most of my life.
It sounds like Laura is an insane control freak who is wound so fucking tightly, her nerves must be in a constant state of inflammation. Maybe if Laura took a vacation, maybe spent less time trying to tell everyone else how to run their lives, or spent a little less time with her head fully lodged in her own rectum, she might start to relax and the migraines might let up.
Someone this fucked up shouldn't be allowed to be around other people, let alone tell them how to bathe or post condescending "job" ads with patronizing content such as "take care of yourself and take care of business." Fuck you - take care of your own fucking business, Lore-Ha.
How dare you abuse the word "oasis" and use it repeatedly in this posting. This environment sounds like a fascist nightmare run by the malevolent scent-free bunged-up Laura the Lunatic.
Every time I see this post I can't believe she thinks anyone with half a wit would respond, let alone entertain the idea of submitting to such abuse. And stop with the ALL CAPS you rude ASSHOLE.
Archive Intern (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: fugginglaura@fascistnightmare.org
Date: 2008-10-18, 1:55PM PDT
Type: Paid internship
Start: ASAP
Openings: 2
Location: Berkeley, CA , Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Hours: 15-30 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required).
Company Description: On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office. It is a small, sometimes hectic household -- an oasis of fun [???] and caring people, in an atmosphere of cooperation and camaraderie. The view is fabulous, and so are the memorabilia collected during the course of some 40 years as a social activist. [fuck the view - you won't ever get to see it - you're going to be very busy scrubbing yourself with baking soda.]
Job Description: You will take down memoirs as you go through the materials from the events and organizations in which Laura participated. You will also help sort, box and ship these materials, plus records from various social movements, to a major state historical society.
Job Qualifications
Required Experience: Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting experience. [i.e. must have thumbs]
Required Personal Characteristics/Job Skills: Be a good listener, take notes and send them out via e-mail with good writing skills; take care of yourself and take care of business; love e-mail and be fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; have experience working for an individual; be caring and compassionate; be responsible about time-management, tasks and cleanup; think consequentially/plan ahead to avoid creating crises; have a sense of humor; value your own labor and the labor of others by being organized, clear and staying on task; be a centered, well-grounded person; be safety savvy in both office and home settings.
Transportation: Owning a car is desirable, but not essential. Ideally, employee would have own car for occasional errands, transporting and accompanying Laura to a few of her appointments. Mileage will be reimbursed. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Everyone in Laura'soasis [fugging nightmare hellhole] shares a commitment to being smoke-free and scent free to maintain an environment that is friendly to those here, or visitors, who have allergies, asthma, or are environmentally sensitive. Due to a condition known as MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Laura herself is subject to severe migraines when exposed to certain products. For everyone’s well-being, employees and members of their households must refrain from using products that are hazardous to others' health if they will be carried into Laura's household on you or your clothes. Please do not apply if you think you will have difficulty giving up any scented products. (Synthetic fragrances are made from toxic petroleum and other chemicals.)
If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. Then, if you are hired, you can change over to healthy products for you and all.
HOW TO APPLY: For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail response. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. TAKE CARE TO INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, as well as the job's suitability to you, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but it is not absolutely required. One of the most important parts of your application is your conversational reply, so we prefer that you focus on that aspect instead of strictly your resume.
Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
· Compensation: Negotiable - please list requirements
· This is a part-time job.
· Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
· Please, no phone calls about this job!
· Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. [unless you're a sales rep for Arm & Hammer or Procter & Gamble]
I have a theory about why Laura is plagued by migraines - it likely has nothing to do with odors, chemicals, petroleum-based products or the alignment of the forks in her utensil drawer. And I'm qualified to posit such a theory, having suffered from migraines most of my life.
It sounds like Laura is an insane control freak who is wound so fucking tightly, her nerves must be in a constant state of inflammation. Maybe if Laura took a vacation, maybe spent less time trying to tell everyone else how to run their lives, or spent a little less time with her head fully lodged in her own rectum, she might start to relax and the migraines might let up.
Someone this fucked up shouldn't be allowed to be around other people, let alone tell them how to bathe or post condescending "job" ads with patronizing content such as "take care of yourself and take care of business." Fuck you - take care of your own fucking business, Lore-Ha.
How dare you abuse the word "oasis" and use it repeatedly in this posting. This environment sounds like a fascist nightmare run by the malevolent scent-free bunged-up Laura the Lunatic.
Every time I see this post I can't believe she thinks anyone with half a wit would respond, let alone entertain the idea of submitting to such abuse. And stop with the ALL CAPS you rude ASSHOLE.
Archive Intern (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: fugginglaura@fascistnightmare.org
Date: 2008-10-18, 1:55PM PDT
Type: Paid internship
Start: ASAP
Openings: 2
Location: Berkeley, CA , Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Hours: 15-30 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required).
Company Description: On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office. It is a small, sometimes hectic household -- an oasis of fun [???] and caring people, in an atmosphere of cooperation and camaraderie. The view is fabulous, and so are the memorabilia collected during the course of some 40 years as a social activist. [fuck the view - you won't ever get to see it - you're going to be very busy scrubbing yourself with baking soda.]
Job Description: You will take down memoirs as you go through the materials from the events and organizations in which Laura participated. You will also help sort, box and ship these materials, plus records from various social movements, to a major state historical society.
Job Qualifications
Required Experience: Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting experience. [i.e. must have thumbs]
Required Personal Characteristics/Job Skills: Be a good listener, take notes and send them out via e-mail with good writing skills; take care of yourself and take care of business; love e-mail and be fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; have experience working for an individual; be caring and compassionate; be responsible about time-management, tasks and cleanup; think consequentially/plan ahead to avoid creating crises; have a sense of humor; value your own labor and the labor of others by being organized, clear and staying on task; be a centered, well-grounded person; be safety savvy in both office and home settings.
Transportation: Owning a car is desirable, but not essential. Ideally, employee would have own car for occasional errands, transporting and accompanying Laura to a few of her appointments. Mileage will be reimbursed. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Everyone in Laura's
If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. Then, if you are hired, you can change over to healthy products for you and all.
HOW TO APPLY: For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail response. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. TAKE CARE TO INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, as well as the job's suitability to you, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but it is not absolutely required. One of the most important parts of your application is your conversational reply, so we prefer that you focus on that aspect instead of strictly your resume.
Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
· Compensation: Negotiable - please list requirements
· This is a part-time job.
· Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
· Please, no phone calls about this job!
· Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. [unless you're a sales rep for Arm & Hammer or Procter & Gamble]
Monday, October 13, 2008
Best Job Response Posting Ever
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO TAKE MOST OF THESE ADS SERIOUSLY (lower mainland)
Reply to: itsabouttime@finally.org
Date: 2008-10-13, 10:15AM PDT
As I roam through Craigslist looking at the job ads, I notice many of the postings have horrendous spelling, grammar, and punctuation problems.
How can anybody feel confident working for an employer that can not communicate at a comprehensible level?
If these companies, agencies, etc. are looking for intelligent, effective, and well-qualified employees, then it would be in their best interest to make an attempt to (or at least appear to) have their shit together.
Reply to: itsabouttime@finally.org
Date: 2008-10-13, 10:15AM PDT
As I roam through Craigslist looking at the job ads, I notice many of the postings have horrendous spelling, grammar, and punctuation problems.
How can anybody feel confident working for an employer that can not communicate at a comprehensible level?
If these companies, agencies, etc. are looking for intelligent, effective, and well-qualified employees, then it would be in their best interest to make an attempt to (or at least appear to) have their shit together.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Cleaning in Heels? DREAM JOB!
HUGE apologies for my extended absence from WJE - it's been a busy year.
Back by popular demand, we're bringing you the worst jobs from not only the Bay Area but now, the Vancouver BC area! Double the worstness!
Now, onto the worsty goodness. Someone needs to kick this guy square in the giblets. I'd do it, but the pay isn't good enough.
Exotic maid (downtown)
Reply to: lazy@limpdick.net
Date: 2008-09-28, 10:48AM PDT
Moving to a new place in Vancouver and need to have the place clean and tidy. Looking for fantasy / exotic maid service.
Prefer a student or someone who would like to make some money on the side, compensation based on availability and what we negotiate in terms of the exotic element. [C'mon ladies, don't hold back - get ALL your tongue on that nasty toilet. You know you love it.]
I am a private and discreet employer, not a company. [so, no Christmas turkey?] Photos appreciated. Interested in fit ladies only. Thanks.
[Right, because you're for sure a hot guy with a dream body who just happens to like hot babes scrubbing his nasty grout with a toothbrush. What a douchebag.]
Back by popular demand, we're bringing you the worst jobs from not only the Bay Area but now, the Vancouver BC area! Double the worstness!
Now, onto the worsty goodness. Someone needs to kick this guy square in the giblets. I'd do it, but the pay isn't good enough.
Exotic maid (downtown)
Reply to: lazy@limpdick.net
Date: 2008-09-28, 10:48AM PDT
Moving to a new place in Vancouver and need to have the place clean and tidy. Looking for fantasy / exotic maid service.
Prefer a student or someone who would like to make some money on the side, compensation based on availability and what we negotiate in terms of the exotic element. [C'mon ladies, don't hold back - get ALL your tongue on that nasty toilet. You know you love it.]
I am a private and discreet employer, not a company. [so, no Christmas turkey?] Photos appreciated. Interested in fit ladies only. Thanks.
[Right, because you're for sure a hot guy with a dream body who just happens to like hot babes scrubbing his nasty grout with a toothbrush. What a douchebag.]
- Location: downtown
- Compensation: $60 to $150 per hour [this range seems low]
- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. [no recruiters? how the hell are you going to get qualified, screened applicants?]
- Please, no phone calls about this job! [just stop by in your panties]
- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests. [because THAT would be inappropriate]
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Laura Needs a Packin'
And she thinks you need to be a thinking person's packer. This woman needs a lot of help, all the time. Someone - please - pack her into a box & get her on a plane to the other side of the planet.
Thinking Person's Packing Job (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: packme@packitbabypackit.org
Date: 2008-01-18, 2:26PM PST
Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Type: Temp job, 2-month pt/ft position
Start: ASAP
Hours: 15-40 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required).
Company Description
On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office and three additional sites in the N Berkeley area.
Job Description
You will be responsible for working with Laura and other staff members as they inventory, pack and ship some 700 boxes of Laura's collected archival materials to a major state historical society. The deadline for the project is in 2 months and we are looking for an enthusiastic worker to help us with this final push. [but if you're too enthusiastic and might start perspiring, forget it - you could emit a "scent" and get canned.]
Job Qualifications
EXPERIENCE REQURED:
Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting, Packing, experience. [being able to read or spell - not important - but you must be fluent in stacking and piling shit into boxes]
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS/JOB SKILLS REQUIRED:
Careful listener able to take notes by typing quickly, and send them out via e-mail with good writing skills; fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; able to think consequentially and plan ahead/clean up behind yourself and others; patient and detail oriented; safety savvy in both office and home settings. [what does all this have to do with packing shit?]
TRANSPORTATION:
A car will be helpful for errands, split shifts, and occasionally for transporting Laura. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver.
IMPORTANT NOTE: [it's so important, it's a giant blathering paragraph that'll put you to sleep]
Everyone in Laura's oasis shares a commitment to being smoke-free and scent free to maintain an environment that is friendly to those who have allergies, asthma, or are environmentally sensitive. Due to a condition known as MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Laura herself is subject to severe migraines when exposed to certain products. For these reasons, employees and members of their households must refrain from using products that are hazardous to others' health if they will be carried into Laura's household on you or your clothes. If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. Then, if you are hired, you can change over to the healthy products for you and all.
HOW TO APPLY:
For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail to loma64@yahoo.com. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. Take care to INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but please do not use it to miss out on the conversational reply to this ad. [miss out? really?] Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/etc/543707331.html
Thinking Person's Packing Job (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: packme@packitbabypackit.org
Date: 2008-01-18, 2:26PM PST
Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Type: Temp job, 2-month pt/ft position
Start: ASAP
Hours: 15-40 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required).
Company Description
On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office and three additional sites in the N Berkeley area.
Job Description
You will be responsible for working with Laura and other staff members as they inventory, pack and ship some 700 boxes of Laura's collected archival materials to a major state historical society. The deadline for the project is in 2 months and we are looking for an enthusiastic worker to help us with this final push. [but if you're too enthusiastic and might start perspiring, forget it - you could emit a "scent" and get canned.]
Job Qualifications
EXPERIENCE REQURED:
Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting, Packing, experience. [being able to read or spell - not important - but you must be fluent in stacking and piling shit into boxes]
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS/JOB SKILLS REQUIRED:
Careful listener able to take notes by typing quickly, and send them out via e-mail with good writing skills; fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; able to think consequentially and plan ahead/clean up behind yourself and others; patient and detail oriented; safety savvy in both office and home settings. [what does all this have to do with packing shit?]
TRANSPORTATION:
A car will be helpful for errands, split shifts, and occasionally for transporting Laura. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver.
IMPORTANT NOTE: [it's so important, it's a giant blathering paragraph that'll put you to sleep]
Everyone in Laura's oasis shares a commitment to being smoke-free and scent free to maintain an environment that is friendly to those who have allergies, asthma, or are environmentally sensitive. Due to a condition known as MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Laura herself is subject to severe migraines when exposed to certain products. For these reasons, employees and members of their households must refrain from using products that are hazardous to others' health if they will be carried into Laura's household on you or your clothes. If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. Then, if you are hired, you can change over to the healthy products for you and all.
HOW TO APPLY:
For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail to loma64@yahoo.com. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. Take care to INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but please do not use it to miss out on the conversational reply to this ad. [miss out? really?] Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/etc/543707331.html
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Holy Crap - It's Laura 2008!
She's still scent-free and seems to have learned how to write a post that isn't twelve days long (just seven days long). Baby steps.
Archive Intern [Paid, Temp] (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: freeofscents@scentless.org
Date: 2008-01-04, 3:25PM PST
Archive intern (paid)
Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Type: Internship/Externship Negotiable
Start: ASAP
Openings: 2 [2 very lucky openings!]
Location: Berkeley, CA
Hours: 15-30 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required). [just say all friggin day every day]
Company Description: On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office. It is a small, hectic household -- an oasis of fun [are you sure?] and caring people, in an atmosphere of cooperation and camaraderie. The view is fabulous, and so are the memorabilia collected during the course of some 40 years as a social activist.
[Well, if the VIEW is fabulous, then who gives a shit about deodorant? And wait, you're going to throw in MEMORABILIA on top of the VIEW? Shut the front door!]
Job Qualifications
EXPERIENCE REQUIRED: Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting experience in a way that doesn't create or augment any odor of any kind at any time.
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS/JOB SKILLS REQUIRED : Be a good listener, take notes and send them out via e-mail [like going to Fresno via Gilroy, it's just like that] with good writing skills; take care of yourself and take care of business; love e-mail and be fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; have experience working for an individual; be caring and compassionate; be responsible about time, tasks and cleanup; think consequentially/plan ahead to avoid creating crises; have a sense of humor; value your own labor and the labor of others by being organized, clear and staying on task; be a centered, well-grounded person; be safety savvy in both office and home settings.
[You know, I could take this more seriously if it didn't sound so friggin condescending. A quality person displays these behaviors, yet she's compelled to spell it out so she's certain to show you just how much better she is at being a quality person than anyone else.]
TRANSPORTATION: A car will be helpful for errands, split shifts, and occasionally for transporting Laura. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver. [I would love to transport Laura. Does she enjoy cramped, dark trunks? I'll make sure it's scent-free.]
IMPORTANT NOTE: Everyone in Laura's oasis shares a commitment to being smoke-free and scent free to maintain an environment that is friendly to those who have allergies, asthma, or are environmentally sensitive. Due to a condition known as MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Laura herself is subject to severe migraines when exposed to certain products. For these reasons, employees and members of their households must refrain from using products that are hazardous to others' health if they will be carried into Laura's household on you or your clothes. Please do not apply if you think you will have difficulty giving up any scented products. (Synthetic fragrances are made from toxic petroleum and other chemicals like those harvested from baby placentas and drowned puppies.)
If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. [Golly, that is sad. I'm sad. We're all sad.]
However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. [!!! Is this like a Silkwood shower?] Then, if you are hired, you can change over to the healthy products for you and all.
Job Description You will take down memoirs as you go through the materials from the events and organizations in which Laura participated. You will also help sort, box and ship these materials, plus records from various social movements, to a major state hysterical society.
HOW TO APPLY: For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail to loma64@yahoo.com. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. TAKE CARE TO INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
[Again with the condescension (and control-freak approach) - Make sure you wipe your tushy after you've used the toytoy!]
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, as well as the job's suitability to you, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but it is not absolutely required, and please do NOT use it to miss out on the conversational reply to this ad. Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
[Dear Laura,
My necessary hourly rate of pay to work in your scent-free nightmare will be $50,000 per hour, paid in advance for an entire month, and I cannot guarantee that I will show up at all, nor should you expect me to, because you sound like such a high-maintenance, giant pain in the not-at-all-scent-free ass.]
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/etc/528608320.html
Archive Intern [Paid, Temp] (berkeley north / hills)
Reply to: freeofscents@scentless.org
Date: 2008-01-04, 3:25PM PST
Archive intern (paid)
Located 8 blocks north of UCB in home of UCB alum.
Type: Internship/Externship Negotiable
Start: ASAP
Openings: 2 [2 very lucky openings!]
Location: Berkeley, CA
Hours: 15-30 hours per week, between 6:00 am and 9:00 pm, 7 days a week (some weekend/evening hours required). [just say all friggin day every day]
Company Description: On-site work for Laura, a semi-retired activist and retired non-profit founder/director, in her smoke-free, scent-free home office. It is a small, hectic household -- an oasis of fun [are you sure?] and caring people, in an atmosphere of cooperation and camaraderie. The view is fabulous, and so are the memorabilia collected during the course of some 40 years as a social activist.
[Well, if the VIEW is fabulous, then who gives a shit about deodorant? And wait, you're going to throw in MEMORABILIA on top of the VIEW? Shut the front door!]
Job Qualifications
EXPERIENCE REQUIRED: Office or archive/library/research/paper sorting experience in a way that doesn't create or augment any odor of any kind at any time.
PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS/JOB SKILLS REQUIRED : Be a good listener, take notes and send them out via e-mail [like going to Fresno via Gilroy, it's just like that] with good writing skills; take care of yourself and take care of business; love e-mail and be fluent in Eudora, Excel, Word, etc.; have experience working for an individual; be caring and compassionate; be responsible about time, tasks and cleanup; think consequentially/plan ahead to avoid creating crises; have a sense of humor; value your own labor and the labor of others by being organized, clear and staying on task; be a centered, well-grounded person; be safety savvy in both office and home settings.
[You know, I could take this more seriously if it didn't sound so friggin condescending. A quality person displays these behaviors, yet she's compelled to spell it out so she's certain to show you just how much better she is at being a quality person than anyone else.]
TRANSPORTATION: A car will be helpful for errands, split shifts, and occasionally for transporting Laura. A driver's license is required for occasional use of Laura's car and you must be a good driver. [I would love to transport Laura. Does she enjoy cramped, dark trunks? I'll make sure it's scent-free.]
IMPORTANT NOTE: Everyone in Laura's oasis shares a commitment to being smoke-free and scent free to maintain an environment that is friendly to those who have allergies, asthma, or are environmentally sensitive. Due to a condition known as MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity), Laura herself is subject to severe migraines when exposed to certain products. For these reasons, employees and members of their households must refrain from using products that are hazardous to others' health if they will be carried into Laura's household on you or your clothes. Please do not apply if you think you will have difficulty giving up any scented products. (Synthetic fragrances are made from toxic petroleum and other chemicals like those harvested from baby placentas and drowned puppies.)
If you are particularly fond of perfume/cologne, fabric softener, scented detergents, dryer sheets, toxic cleaning products, air "fresheners," smoking, incense, scented hair-care products; this, sadly, is not the workplace for you. [Golly, that is sad. I'm sad. We're all sad.]
However, if you are eager, willing and able to make the transition to healthier products and simply lack funds to do so, Laura will help in hardship cases with the purchase of basic scent-free products after your on site interview. Initially you will need only baking soda and Ivory or Basis soap to remove traces of any previous problematic products. [!!! Is this like a Silkwood shower?] Then, if you are hired, you can change over to the healthy products for you and all.
Job Description You will take down memoirs as you go through the materials from the events and organizations in which Laura participated. You will also help sort, box and ship these materials, plus records from various social movements, to a major state hysterical society.
HOW TO APPLY: For your cover letter, just copy and paste this posting into your e-mail to loma64@yahoo.com. Particularly in the Qualifications and Job Description areas, include information about your experience and each of the personal characteristics and job skills. TAKE CARE TO INSERT your replies between the appropriate lines in dialogue fashion, just like the in-person conversation we hope to have with you down the line after our initial e-mail screening process.
[Again with the condescension (and control-freak approach) - Make sure you wipe your tushy after you've used the toytoy!]
Give us EXAMPLES of your skills and suitability to the job, as well as the job's suitability to you, plus any comments and questions. Also, add your available times for us to schedule you both as a work schedule and for an interview, and your necessary hourly rate of pay and anything else. If you have a resume you may attach it, but it is not absolutely required, and please do NOT use it to miss out on the conversational reply to this ad. Kindly send us contact information for three references, and good times to reach your references and you.
[Dear Laura,
My necessary hourly rate of pay to work in your scent-free nightmare will be $50,000 per hour, paid in advance for an entire month, and I cannot guarantee that I will show up at all, nor should you expect me to, because you sound like such a high-maintenance, giant pain in the not-at-all-scent-free ass.]
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/etc/528608320.html
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